Rapists are not always
strangers. When someone you know—a date, steady,
acquaintance, or casual friend—forces you to have sex, it is
still rape.
Women
should….
•
Always
tell someone where you are going with your date and when you
are
expected to return.
•
Check out
a first date or a blind date with friends. Meet in and go
to public
places. Carry money for a taxi or take your own car in case you need to
cut
the date short.
•
Pay
attention to what your date says about himself. If you
detect
discrepancies this should raise a flag.
•
Trust your
instincts.
If a place or the way your date acts makes you
nervous or uneasy get away from the situation.
•
When out
with friends, keep together and try not to get separated.
Do not
leave a social event with someone you have just met or do not know well.
•
Be careful
not to let alcohol or other drugs decrease your ability to
take care
of yourself and make sensible decisions.
•
Do not
accept beverages from someone you do not know or trust.
Always
watch your drink and never leave it unattended.
Men should….
•
Use common
sense. Realize that you do not have the right to force a
woman to have sex just because you paid for her dinner or drinks.
•
Accept a
woman’s decision when she says, “No!” Do not
interpret it as a
challenge.
•
Avoid
clouding your judgment and understanding of what another
person
wants by using alcohol or drugs.
•
Do not
assume that a woman wants to have sex just because she is
drinking
heavily, the way she dresses, or agrees to go home with you.
•
Never have
sex with anyone who is passed out.
•
Do not
assume that just because a woman has had sex with you
previously
she is willing to have sex with you again.
•
Do not
assume that if a woman consents to kissing or other sexual
intimacies
she is willing to have sexual intercourse.
•
Realize
that forcing a woman to have sex against her will is rape, a
violent
crime with serious consequences.
•
Never be
drawn into a gang rape. Be prepared to resist pressure from
friends
to participate.
•
If you see
a woman in trouble at a party or a male friend using force
or
pressuring a woman, do not be afraid to intervene. Your intervention may
prevent the woman from the trauma of sexual assault or not to mention
preventing your friend from the ordeal of criminal repercussions.
•
Ask
yourself how sexual stereotypes affect your attitudes and
actions
toward women.
•
Seek
counseling or a support group to help you deal with feelings
of violence
and aggression toward women.
If
you become a victim of date rape….
•
Get help.
Do not isolate yourself, do not feel guilty, and do not
ignore it. It
is a crime and should be reported.
•
Get
medical attention as soon as possible. Do not shower, wash,
douche, or
change your clothes. Valuable evidence could be destroyed.
•
Get
counseling to deal with the emotional trauma.
•
If you
think you’ve been assaulted while under the influence of
Rohypnol,
GHB, seek help immediately. Try not to urinate before providing urine
samples, and if possible collect any glasses from which you drank.
What are “date rape” drugs….
•
Rohyponol
(“roofies,” “circles,” “the forget pills”) works like a
tranquilizer. It
causes muscle weakness, fatigue, slurred speech, loss of motor
coordination
and judgment, and amnesia that lasts up to 24 hours. It looks like an
aspirin
(small, white, and round).
•
GHB (also
known as “liquid X,” “salt water,” or “scoop”) causes quick
sedation. Its effects are drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, headaches,
dizziness, coma, and possibly death. Its most common form is a clear
liquid,
although it also can take the form of a white, grainy powder.
Rohypnol and GHB are
called the date rape drugs because when they are slipped
into someone’s drink a sexual assault can take place without
the victim being able to remember what happened.
On
Line Dating
•
Never give
out your home address, phone number, the name of your school
or any other personal details to people you do not know.
•
If you
decide to talk to someone on the phone, ask to call
him/her. Make
sure to use caller ID block (*67).
•
Use a
nickname in chat rooms or message boards.
•
Trust your
instincts. If you pick up on contradictions or
inconsistencies from
your chat friend, or something does not feel right, end your
communication
with him/her.
•
Meet chat
friends in public places.
•
Always
tell someone where you are going with your on-line date and
when
you will return.
•
Take a
cell phone with you.
•
Never go
to someone’s house that you have just met.
