JHU Violence | Relationships

Problem Relationships—violence and intimidation

Interpersonal violence can take many forms on campus:

Physical assaults including fights, hazings, dating violence

Emotional assaults including stalking and harassment

Rape and sexual assault

Relationship problems, unfortunately, are often exacerbated by alcohol to the point of violence. Alcohol can increase aggression and impair judgment. It diminishes our capacity for achieving resolution and can make minor misunderstandings seem like major insults. It decreases inhibitions and lowers natural defenses. When alcohol is involved in a dispute, we are more likely to become an aggressor or a victim. Many students have falsely believed intoxication can be used as an excuse for inappropriate and/or violent behavior. It cannot.

Healthy Relationships—conflict resolution guidelines

Resolving conflict to a win/win conclusion is a mutually satisfying solution to any problem.

Ground rules:

One person speaks at a time.

All parties are treated with respect.

No commitments are made until a satisfying agreement is reached.

Conflict resolution steps:

Identify the problem and state it succinctly.

Attempt to understand all points of view.

Brainstorm solutions.

Evaluate pros and cons of the solutions and explore opportunities for agreement.

Select a mutually agreeable solution that satisfies the needs of both parties.

Commit to the agreement and summarize it verbally or in writing.

After a predetermined time, re-evaluate the agreement and renegotiate as needed.

If an agreeable resolution cannot be reached, consult with an objective third person to assist in the process or contact the appropriate university personnel.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

You are... if your partner:

Emotionally abuses you through insults, belittling comments, ignoring your opinion, or becomes angry when you initiate an action or idea.

Tells you with whom you may be friends, how you should dress, or tries to control other aspects of your life.

Gets jealous for no reason.

Drinks heavily or uses drugs; insists that you join in.

Is physically violent to you or others, even if it's "just" grabbing and pushing.

Acts in an intimidating way.

Is unable to handle sexual and emotional frustrations without becoming angry.

Doesn't view you as an equal.

Forces you to have sex.

If you are or have been in an abusive relationship, you may find yourself feeling depressed, nervous, or blaming yourself for what happened. All of this is a normal response, but if the feelings persist, you may want to discuss them with a professional. Talk to a campus administrator, or to your health or counseling services, for assistance in locating an appropriate resource.

When in Doubt, Seek Help

Meaningful relationships enrich our lives. If you or someone you know is in a relationship that is demeaning, destructive, or in any way injurious, contact one of the listed resources or consult with appropriate professionals on your campus. Above all, remember: Absolutely no one has the moral or legal right to cause emotional or physical harm to another. When in doubt, seek help!

For information or assistance, see Resources.