Sondra Williams       [ Poem 1 | Poem 2 ]

A Crystal World

I live in a crystal world where life is an illusion,
People not understanding think I am in a delusion

I sing and dance in a language unknown to human ears
As I am content with my maker who unconditionally cares

In my world all is pure and no evil in known to be
Where life is in its purest through the child that exists within me

No worries, no fear, no right from wrong
I simply play and sing in a peaceful song

I dwell in the land of Angels and with the most supreme of beings
I live in a crystal world that humans are void of seeing

Looking out I see your world, confused by its primitive ways beyond the doors
You come like a mighty force ripping me from mine to enter yours

Forcing me from my crystal world where safe and happiness abounds
Tarnishing my thinking with evil things and then fear comes and surrounds

Now I am trapped between both worlds knowing I have no safe either way
For the one is now tarnished and the other is not safe to stay

I cannot return to my crystal world, nor am I welcomed in yours.
Why did you bring me so far and leave me standing at the doors.

I cry and scream for my existence is void of true life
I am lost and frightened and full of anxiety and strife.

My world was pure and unblemished as it brightly reflected through the prism
Human kind says I was broken with a disorder called autism

Help me I cry, I need to be as I once was, a child full of the dancing song,
But now am left empty and afraid with no true place to belong.

It is you who are broken, unhappy and discontent with my being
It is you who lack understanding of what you are truly seeing

Why did you not let me exist as I was meant to be?
For I was once with God and he once was with me.

by Sondra Williams 2002

They Say

I heard them talking about me, saying I am not like others
I can dance and sing and play, I feel, and cry tears too.
I am more like you, than you think

I heard them say that my silence reflects no emotion, no connections.
I cry many unseen tears, I laugh at life's blunders, although not in ways
foreseen.
I connect like you, more than you think.

They say I am intellectually impaired and will never learn to reach my
potential
I know about words and explore the world in ways others rarely know.
I am smarter, than you think.

The doctor says I will not be able to show affection or relate to my own
family
I gave them a smile from across the room, they didn't even notice.
I do know and feel love, more than you may think.

Some say my anger and the rages are animalistic.
I tried to communicate my fear the only way I know how, but no one was
listening.
I get angry like you, for reasons like you, more than you think

The doctors say there is no hope I am void of understanding
I have dreams and think on them often, but due to my silence I can't share
them.
Yes, I have dreams and goals, just like others, more than you think

Strangers say I am out of control and not human.
I have a body, mind and soul, just somewhat challenged.
I am human more than you think.

I heard them talking, saying oh, she has autism, a disability of no hope
If they only knew what is trapped inside me, I think.
They would say she's more like me, than what I use to think.

© Sondra Williams 2002