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Jessica Davis The Mercenary “They wanted him to be a mercenary.” I looked up from the window at this with a frown as soon as Joc had finished her sentence. It had really come out of the blue this time; normally, we were in a discussion when she told me revelatory things about my family. This time, however, we were just quietly driving around in the car towards the drugstore for some pills. “What?” I had been so attentive to watching things pass by
on my side of the car that I only heard the last part of the sentence.
“Who’s a mercenary?” It was a relatively dark night, dark and cold. It was in the middle of a big freeze the county was having; everywhere there were record lows and wind chills well below zero. I had been staring at the snow banks that whizzed by, but for what reason, I didn’t know. “So, uh….” I made an attempt to change the subject.
“Anyways…..who was a mercenary?” Now I was interested. Not only was someone asked to be a mercenary, it was someone I knew. I gave a shudder of excitement. It was not that I approved of killing people in general. I was not big on war, and I certainly wasn’t thinking of getting a job in that kind of business to begin with. I only had two reasons for wanting to know. One, my father had been a Marine, working on tanks for the military, so I knew he had a few friends in the business. Two, there was, at least in my mind, a strange and twisted exoticism in the whole idea of just methodically, quietly, and mercilessly planning how you were going to kill people and get away with it. In between that, there would be the merciless hounding of the prey until they could go in for the clean and final kill. What mercenaries got from it - the thrill, the money, the glory - the motives were always mysterious. The planning part really intrigued me, because – unlike most professions – planning as a mercenary could get you and your family killed if you made the wrong move. It was like espionage, which also intrigued me, only with more apparent blood and guts. “Come on,” I teased. “What’s the problem with
asking who, especially since I know this person?” Joc gave me a crazed look before taking several deep breaths. I, too, took several breaths to calm myself down. I could tell my face was red, even though I couldn’t see it, because my ears felt extremely hot. “….You can’t make a big deal about it, ok?” Joc
spoke after a moment with a low voice. “Because I don’t want
you asking way too many questions, because….well, you’ll understand.” I looked down at the floor, letting this truth sink in. I realized why I was left out; she thought that I would overreact, be shocked and ask lots of questions. Most people would not think of loved ones as being heartless, professional killers. On top of it, my father would have done it. Then, something occurred to me. I look up and gave Joc what was probably the most confused look I could involuntarily muster. “….Ok….” It wasn’t some harrowing revelation to me. I got no real shock or surprise from it. He had been a good Marine; it just made logical sense they they’d want him to sniper people. I was almost disappointed. “…Now…..your point from keeping that from me was….?” © Jessica Davis |
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| © Johns Hopkins University, 2004. All rights retained by the artists. Questions or comments? Contact autismnetverse@jhu.edu. | |||||