Races
Results and Reports

Race Report
Appalachian State University
April 2
by Priscilla Pang/Katie Ross

It was a dark and stormy night... okay. it was really bright and sunny at noon on Friday when Katie, Jess, Faisal and I began our arduous journey to Appalachian State.

Matt drove our gear and Fred drove the bikes down to meet up with the AU guys in DC. Unfortunately, AU's Randy's roommate left his car somewhere in downtown DC so it wasn't until 2pm that we got started in our Chrysler minivan and Randy's Camry. (rollin' in style baby.)

80 miles and 3 hours later, the team found themselves in a traffic jam somewhere south of DC. that's right folks, we were flying like you wouldn't believe. Reaching the end of the jam, and hoping for unbelievable carnage and wreckage, we were greeted with...nothing. Not even a flat tire. anticlimatic city, here i come.

deciding to make up for lost time, and lured by the promise fast-food pasta with unlimited breadsticks (yeah fazouli's) we jammed along at an avg of 95 mph, with brief ventures into the triple digits. (did we mention it was dark, rainy and foggy like you wouldn't believe?) weather in boone was ridiculous. fog so thick you couldn't see bridges til they were right on top of you - like right out of a horror story. katie, jess, and i scared the shit out of ourselves with rampant imaginations of bloodied men running of the woods screaming at us.

upon arrival at the alpine village inn, we were greeted with a note saying "come on in, the light and heat are on", and so we did. ...to one bed, frills, and tons of teddy bears. quickly deciding that this martha stewart nightmare wasn't going to house the 4 of us and bikes comfortably, we made a few calls and got switched to the homestead inn just down the road. since the bikes had already been taken off the van, faisal decided it would just be easier to walk them over to the inn while the rest of us drove the gear over. needless to say, the locals were a little confused when they saw someone walking down the street in the middle of the night looking like he just stole two bikes.

in any case, the homestead inn was marvelous. 2 queen beds, comfy linens, a THERMOSTAT-CONTROLLED FIREPLACE (so awesome), and a super helpful staff, and with that, we went to sleep on friday night, ready for our 6:15 wake up.

saturday. ohhhh where do we begin? one constant phrase comes to mind, but for the sake of the women and children, it shall remain unsaid. temperatures at 29 degrees, snow, baby hail, sleet, freezing rain, wind gusts at 49mph, and the race was still on. it was a small race to begin with, with most smarter schools having opted to not show for the sake of driving time and weather forecasts, but the few that were there bravely rallied for the love of this sport we call masochism. seeing as how no one wanted to warm up, a precursory drive through of the course seemed like a better idea, and what a course it was. potholes galore, mudslides, twisted descents promising a plunge down a cliff face if you skidded out, and even a dead cow couldn't stop this race. (btw, they removed the cow with a bulldozer, and it was probably one of the coolest things i've ever seen) (insert from jess: "OMG, you have to write about how they had to pick it up with just one leg, and it was dangling, and it was the most redneck thing i've ever seen")

the 8.9 mile course could have essentially been divided into 4 sections: it started with a 3 mile climb in which one was bombarded with huge, wet snowflakes, and wind protection from the mountain led us to play the game "how the hell do we de-fog our glasses?" upon hitting the downhill, the snowflakes turned to sleet and baby hail and proceeded to create a white out. katie quickly decided that this race was ridiculous, and called the ref up for a chat who admitted that her helmet had fogged so badly that she couldn't even see the racers as they streaked through the winding descent. a small relief came as the course made its way into a relatively 'toasty' valley, which then turned into a windy valley with the 49mph gusts, and then back to the start of the loop. the finish for the course was 3 miles past the start line at a church midway up the hill.

(note from faisal on how to talk to an official: instead of saying, "this is fucking ridiculous, this is total bullshit!", you go, "excuse me, ma'am... don't you think this is a little bit dangerous right now? ...and your hair looks wonderful today.")

As the fields came around the for the first time (i was in the parking lot, making bootleg pancakes with the WVU team), faisal was sitting in the back of the front pack, looking miserable, but strong. katie was leading the wm's b breakaway group of 4 gals, and jess pulled into the parking lot a few mins later soaked and shivering after she had done an incredible job of blocking for katie, giving her the gap she needed. (insert from jess, "yeah, i just told the girls to slow down 'cos there wasn't any way that katie could keep going that strong for that long")

After 2 laps, the officials finally realized that these conditions were nature's rendition of hell frozen over, and decided to call the race short one lap for the wm's b, in which katie put the hammer down and solo'd in for FIRST.

In the men's C race, faisal hung in the full 3 laps of face-destroying cold to land a great 7th place.

(in a later discussion with faisal, katie commented on how long it took to refs to make the call to shorten the race, to which faisal promptly replied, " I thought it was a pretty easy call when ice pellets were flying at my face at 60 kmph.")

for my race, all the ice pellets had turned to thick snow flurries with even stronger winds and poorer visibilty. the men's a took off right before us (with mike hardman from vt missing the start and having to sprint like hell to catch up), and soon we were on our way. halfway up the hill, i was feeling the effects of frozen non-responding muscles and was soon dropped from the already-small field. going on the downhill, i was picking up some speed, hoping to catch back up to the back, and as i hit the tightest right turn (close to a complete u'ie) the wind gusted up and next thing i know, i'm lying in the road and my bike is in the ditch. so's i get up, brush off, and jam to catch up to the ASU girl in front of me. we work together for one more lap before ruth tells us that we're on the final lap, so's then i drop her and come in for 6 or 7th - not sure. (the start was super disorganized - ask hardman)

wiped, we all pack up, and head to boone for some late lunch/dinner at cafe portofino, in which katie comes to the realization that those painted onion heads in the bathroom stall are really garlic (as cafe portofino is an international garlic house).

it snows the rest of saturday - accumulating from 4-6inches, and on sunday morning, after a huge confusion on spring forward and katie's auto resetting phone clock and alarm, (" ummm guys, should we wake up now or call anyone?" "Katie, shut up and go back to sleep, it's still 7:40") we wake up to snow, ice, and gusts of wind which the weather station claims to reach up to 65 mph. AU gives us a heads up that the race has been cancelled, and soon we're on our way home. faisal decides that we should drive a bit on the parkway since he's never been, so we go to check it out. ice everywhere, and at one point, we stop the van only to feel the wind rocking the car side to side. pretty scary stuff, if you considered the lack of guardrails on the parkway and the slippery ice everywhere.

hittin' up 81N on the way back, we get pulled over by an anal sheriff for going 79 in a 65. so if you're ever going through pulaski cty in VA, watch out for those guys. Faisal believes this may have been for DWB in the south y'all. (driving while brown). he also wondered later if he could have gotten out of the ticket for mentioning that the sheriff's "hair looks really wonderful today!" After getting to Arlington we crammed five people, four bikes, and a half dozen tires into Fred's little car (WE LOVE YOU FRED!!)

anyway, we're back safe. maybe a bit worried from finding out that fred potentially has whooping cough, but we're alive, and we have heart.